writing.

I miss writing. I noticed this as I crave the exertion of force from my pen to my paper. I miss the rhyming, the reaching into the back of my mind for words that describe my thoughts in perfect timing. I feel suffocated. Like my mind has an appetite for jotting each word down like a needle to skin,

a memoir of the bleeding and healing of my mind. Like grabbing a skateboard and starting to grind. I put my mind in drive and my words come alive. Its like a leech feeding off of my blood, a tsunami of words; the synthesis of a flood. Its like everything I think of has already been said, my mind schemes to put obsolete thoughts to shred. Heart's racing at 200 beats a second, blood vessels constricting it's hard to reckon. Will these words break me? Will I fall? If I hit the graphite, I died giving it my all.

Its not far to never never land

So today was a pretty decent day. I woke up a little late, (meaning 5:55 AM) and went about my day. I got to school and took the CPT (College Placement Test). I finished early enough to make it to my anatomy class, meaning I had to present my STD project; on the Human Papilloma Virus, also known as HPV. I did pretty kickass, considering I did every ounce of research THE DAY it was due, and got away with presenting it today.

Then.. I saw "CHUBBY SHARK" after school. Teresa (the best friend) and I call him that due to his half-mohawk and his little chubby cheeks. Anyway he's really starting to like me alot. He's honestly the only guy that I'm talking to right now that's serious about me. We had a really good moment.

So off I go onto the LYNX bus. Unfortunately I know several people who ride it.. And they are just pests. Three of the dudes call me "Spongebob". Why?? Because of my teeth! How immature. Instead of getting pissed today, I embraced their theory of the spongebob correlation and laughed WITH them.

I swear I've been eating all day.

I'm still waiting on some feedback on my job applications for several stores at the florida mall.

Gotta do my math and peer counseling project! Toodle-loo! Ha.

Soooo,

NOTE TO YOU-- if you like me, [as more than a friend]-- And you read a story I write on my blog.. And it happens to not be about you.. Don't get upset with meh. Especialleh if I have shown no interest in you. Hate to be mean, but somebody's gotta say it.

**anyways**

I'm spilling out some anecdotes to test my memory. K??

A couple of weeks ago I went out on a "date". I say "date" because I paid for my movie ticket and he paid for his. I paid for my food and he brought his own. Lol. Anyway I'm not bashing him and his perspective on dating. I'll let him do him.

Anyway, we meet up at the movies (because i was dropped off with my friend) and he drove there. I immediately saw the guy, and said my goodbyes to Dustin's rude friends and Teresa.

I already had my ticket. --Fast and the Furious (the latest movie).--

It was opening night for it, so you can imagine that most of the showtimes were sold out, so we had to wait 2 hours. We walked around the Loop. We went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond because I wanted to show him this amazing massage chair. Ha. Epic Success.

Then we went to Yankee Candle (what was i doing to him?! lmao) and started smelling all the candles and voting on the best candle by rows.

Yeah I know. Weird. But at least he had fun too! Ha. Then I mentioned my hunger. And I offered to pay for my own panera bread meal. He didn't disagree with me paying for it. So I went forth. And spent 9 dollars on a sandwich, salad, and lemonade.

I let him know that salads were very occasional for me, and normally I have a junky appetite.

Then we got to the movie and within 30 minutes of it I had fallen fast asleep on his shoulder. [keep in mind we still had never kissed before]. The movie ended and we met up with Teresa and made our way to his car.

Stopped at mcdonalds.

His treat.

Lol I kept it cheap and ordered an icecream cone and small fry (total of 2 dollars) and teresa ordered the same.

She drove his car, I sat in back with said date.

When we got to my house, Teresa got out and waited by the gate. I said goodbye (still no kiss)and walked to the house.

Men VS Women

So I never really thought this through. I've already realized that men and women think differently, but now I've come to the conclusion that men have totally different personality traits compared to women. Men rationalize situations more objectively, and they do it to maintain their ego at times. Women on the other hand tend to nit-pick every little thing, overanalyzing details and guessing the meaning of each action or behavior while a man would actually find out the facts. Women rely on the feelings and opinions. Some men don't know how to emotionally connect with anybody, including women. Those are most likely your self-absorbed, sex-loving fiends... Just kidding. But maybe. Lol.

Here's an example.. You're a girl at school, or at work, and you're walking through the corridor and you see a guy that you've had your eye on for quite some time. He takes a glimpse of you, smiles, and goes about his day. You approach your group of friends with a smile, "Heeee was giving me THE look."

A girl is likely to analyze his behavior and utilize it and mold it into something it totally wasn't. Whereas, a guy walking in the hallway realizes this gorgeous girl giving him the eye, and doesn't go write about the event in his diary.

Let's face it. Many men are emotionally detached and have a harder time with compassion than girls. They'd rather focus on justice, [notice most lawyers are men..] than subjective things. We can go on and on and run in circles about nature vs nurture and if these traits are biologically implanted within our genders.. But the way girls and boys have been raised might have alot to do with this. Double standards... Men feel a greater longing for freedom than females do. This might be why guys have a harder time committing themselves to one girl, while girls [not alll but generally] jump right on the chance

anyway, im closing with this. Men->sex, money, success Women->feelings, happiness, love, success [sex too but face it, they'd rather just find their other half.]

Sashie washie.