Soooo,

NOTE TO YOU-- if you like me, [as more than a friend]-- And you read a story I write on my blog.. And it happens to not be about you.. Don't get upset with meh. Especialleh if I have shown no interest in you. Hate to be mean, but somebody's gotta say it.

**anyways**

I'm spilling out some anecdotes to test my memory. K??

A couple of weeks ago I went out on a "date". I say "date" because I paid for my movie ticket and he paid for his. I paid for my food and he brought his own. Lol. Anyway I'm not bashing him and his perspective on dating. I'll let him do him.

Anyway, we meet up at the movies (because i was dropped off with my friend) and he drove there. I immediately saw the guy, and said my goodbyes to Dustin's rude friends and Teresa.

I already had my ticket. --Fast and the Furious (the latest movie).--

It was opening night for it, so you can imagine that most of the showtimes were sold out, so we had to wait 2 hours. We walked around the Loop. We went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond because I wanted to show him this amazing massage chair. Ha. Epic Success.

Then we went to Yankee Candle (what was i doing to him?! lmao) and started smelling all the candles and voting on the best candle by rows.

Yeah I know. Weird. But at least he had fun too! Ha. Then I mentioned my hunger. And I offered to pay for my own panera bread meal. He didn't disagree with me paying for it. So I went forth. And spent 9 dollars on a sandwich, salad, and lemonade.

I let him know that salads were very occasional for me, and normally I have a junky appetite.

Then we got to the movie and within 30 minutes of it I had fallen fast asleep on his shoulder. [keep in mind we still had never kissed before]. The movie ended and we met up with Teresa and made our way to his car.

Stopped at mcdonalds.

His treat.

Lol I kept it cheap and ordered an icecream cone and small fry (total of 2 dollars) and teresa ordered the same.

She drove his car, I sat in back with said date.

When we got to my house, Teresa got out and waited by the gate. I said goodbye (still no kiss)and walked to the house.

Men VS Women

So I never really thought this through. I've already realized that men and women think differently, but now I've come to the conclusion that men have totally different personality traits compared to women. Men rationalize situations more objectively, and they do it to maintain their ego at times. Women on the other hand tend to nit-pick every little thing, overanalyzing details and guessing the meaning of each action or behavior while a man would actually find out the facts. Women rely on the feelings and opinions. Some men don't know how to emotionally connect with anybody, including women. Those are most likely your self-absorbed, sex-loving fiends... Just kidding. But maybe. Lol.

Here's an example.. You're a girl at school, or at work, and you're walking through the corridor and you see a guy that you've had your eye on for quite some time. He takes a glimpse of you, smiles, and goes about his day. You approach your group of friends with a smile, "Heeee was giving me THE look."

A girl is likely to analyze his behavior and utilize it and mold it into something it totally wasn't. Whereas, a guy walking in the hallway realizes this gorgeous girl giving him the eye, and doesn't go write about the event in his diary.

Let's face it. Many men are emotionally detached and have a harder time with compassion than girls. They'd rather focus on justice, [notice most lawyers are men..] than subjective things. We can go on and on and run in circles about nature vs nurture and if these traits are biologically implanted within our genders.. But the way girls and boys have been raised might have alot to do with this. Double standards... Men feel a greater longing for freedom than females do. This might be why guys have a harder time committing themselves to one girl, while girls [not alll but generally] jump right on the chance

anyway, im closing with this. Men->sex, money, success Women->feelings, happiness, love, success [sex too but face it, they'd rather just find their other half.]

Sashie washie.

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Nuff said;

WOW!WOW!WOW!

Today, writing an essay about conformity and objective facts inspired me to write my opinion and experiences through quotes of the wise. Ha. Pretty conformist, huh?

[i really should make my own quote!] [heyy! that could be a quote! lol]

"Opportunity's favorite disguise is trouble." --Frank Tyger

Wow!! If you really think about this.. I mean dig deep! What usually happens after a tragedy? An opportunity! What happened, reluctantly, after World War II?? The economy bursted with opportunities! The world war was cause for a successful contingency in the emerging job world etc! When something lamentable happens to you, it doesn't usually last forever. You're in love and it doesn't work out. You are heavyhearted and you're convicted in "never loving again". The next month, you meet somebody phenomenal. They sweep you off your toes with a silk broom and gently concoct a new love, stronger, and exceeding your past feelings for your previous love affair. Fate? Who the hell knows?

Here's another one... Whew!

"Beware the flatterer; he feeds you with an empty spoon." --Cosino De Gregrio

When someone is gassing your head up.. They want something. Something that will just benefit themselves in the long run. Seriously. It all leads to SELF BENEFIT. Unless you're one of those rare type people that genuinely want to just please everybody. Damn.

That's good for today. I have Shai's "If I ever fall in love" song stuck in this conforming/nonconforming head of mine.

Wait.. If ur not conforming.. then technically aren't conforming to not conforming???

--signing offfff! sasha!

*i LOVE teresa;;

Mind -> Hand

I recently recall a certain recognition. A recognition that I truly miss writing, because I'm even jotting down notes and I feel like rocks are being lifted off of my shoulders.

I can feel my hand yearning to coalesce with my mind. My psyche has an appetite, a thirst, that only a stanza can satiate. An emittance of goosebumps exudes from my spine. I can hear an intense recollection, a stampede of thoughts, preparing themselves for a new world. My notebook. My vitality suddenly revamps into an anecdote.

Look inside your tiny mind

Is it love when you first see them?
When they first catch your eye?
Or does it eventually fabricate
into a love you can't deny?

Is it love when your spine gets goosebumps,
and your palms start to sweat?
Or if you're reminded of them hourly,
from sunrise to sunset?

Could it be that newfound feeling,
that tingle in your tummy?
Or could it be your bundles of laughter
because everything they say is funny?

Could it be when you start missing them
the second that they leave?
Because their lack of presence
becomes so hard to conceive...

Is it love when you start crying,
because you found out everything was a lie?
And they never really loved you,
After dedicating your heart, body, and mind?

Is it love when your heart is broken
into infinitesimal little pieces?
And after every yellow ray of sunlight
a tear from your eye releases?

Is it love or is it hate
when you doubt what you once felt,
possibly because you're mad at fate
for the hand that you've been dealt?

Was it love or imagination?
I can't seem to figure it out
Was it love or infatuation?
Because I'm not sure what LOVE is about..

-S.