WHOA details.

Didn't go to school today. *Sick*. Seriously though. I was coughing and headache-ing, and sneezing, and in pain, period. I found out the other day that I had to go to a desposition [sp?] for a possible trial in the future. Wow this was soo overwhelming because it meant I had to relive a crazy incident all over again. The public defender [more like staunch defender] was practically probing me, and I was supposed to be the victim. Man it was awkward.

Walking into a court house, people seem so uptight. With their business suits and suitcases. You can't help but wonder... What the hell do they have in that stupid suitcase? Then there are the people that are there for their own issues.. You walk down the corridor and they stare at you as if they can guess your reason for being there. Yeahhh I was just glad it was only 1hr and 1/2.

Today I went into this extreme TV mode and watched "Failure to Launch" (greatttt movie.) and "Affinity" (verrry different.)

Affinity was about these lesbian women [no it wasnt porn] and it back in conservative 1800s times.. Anyway, it was quite the weird movie of the year. It goes in the same category as "American Beauty".

So I went crazy today with an overcoming feeling of unproductiveness so I decided I am gonna write a list.

I am no longer depending on other people to fix my problems, or even listen to them!

No longer will I share my secrets with more than 1-2 people that I really love/care about.

I won't be allowing guys to control my decisions

I'll be writing in this blog more often, exercising my mind because "Lord" knows how long that's been..

Stop saying things like "oh my god" or "jesus christ" since I don't believe in either.

I can't remember any more right now. lol
So anyways.. Thats all I feel like posting. Here, I'll take a picture for goodbye's sake=]

My day. Sucked?

Yep.. Today was one of those days... First off it started out with this guy I'm talking to. We're not

exclusive but we do things that an exclusive couple does. He tried to leave with the sorriest

goodbye ever so I slammed the door in his face [i didnt want him to leave in the first place..]

It made me so mad because everytime he comes to my house [or the opposite] something

random always comes up and he has to go within 10-20 minutes, [20 if im lucky!]... He treats

me as if I am lucky to have him when to be honest, he's lucky to have me because he does

nothing to make me happy! Well today I told him how he is losing me and just can't have

me anymore. He took the "give me a chance.. i'm so pressured" approach. This pissed

me off even more because I was never pressuring him.. He was just pushing me away!

Afterwards [sorry for all the ranting...] I got into 6th period and my teacher Mrs. Earle kept

scolding me and she took away my phone and all I did was look at the time... Ridiculous shit.



Anyway... Glad I got that off my chest. He only loves me when I leave him so maybe I should

be out of his life forever if I want him to feel the same way about me as I do him!

UGHHHH.

-Right now I'm listening to Avant's "When it hurts"
-It reminded me, sadly, of my "relationship" with Jay.
-My neck is KILLING me.
-The library is really stuffy and I smell my perfume 3x more than earlier
-I miss so many people :[
-Tired of shedding tears;;;

R

OK so...

I'm writing this blog.

I'm getting really annoyed at the sound of
my parents eating. So I'm deciding to write
a blog later. -__-.


Sasha

Oh honey get over yourself.

So I've been given lots of options lately...

-To move back with my nana and go to my old school [ghs] and leave schs
-To keep talking to this guy who takes me for granted or just find somebody else
-To volunteer at give kids the world, or the local hospital
-To stay working at sea world or get a different job.


I have mixed feelings about options. I hate having so many but I hate having none.

Random facts about right now:

*I swear theres a future pimple on my nose
*I need something to drink! [just had sunchips for dinner. yes dinner.]
*I've been dying to have a meaningful conversation. I'm tired of this "lets fuck" bullshit.
*My brother is smashing a grocery bag with no reasoning.
*I cleaned my whole house today when I was by myself
*I'm listening to common [who is awesome]
*I'm textin Camilo
*Emmanuel and his buddy are gonna come chillax at my casa for a bit.


anyway... this past week was whooo let's just say "different".

I've come to the realization that I'm talking to a LOSER!!!! Ugh a straight up loser. I seriously have to drop him immediately. He makes me feel inferior all the time [so not the case] and I'm FOREVER helping him with everything but the minute I ask for a favor, he doesn't have my back. Ok buddy. TTYN. End of that subject.

Last night I had an amazing experience.

I had the choices to either go to

a) give kids the world
or b) club coco's teen night

And of course... I chose a) give kids the world. For those that don't know, give kids the world is an organization that gives away free week-long vacations to families that have a child(ren) with a terminal illness. I had the opportunity to serve dinner to these families and let me just say these are the sweetest kids you'll ever meet. One of them just came out of nowhere and thanked me. For nothing. I did nothing. [aww]. Oh by the way, a terminal illness is an active and malignant disease that cannot be cured or adequately treated and that is reasonably expected to result in the death of the patient.

Fact: Give kids the world has Christmas every Thursday because some of the kids won't make it to Christmas this year.

I get crazy goosebumps with the idea of these kids knowing they're gonna die. And I see these huge smiles on their faces. I absolutely love volunteering there.


See if we all just come together, get a job and volunteer elsewhere, I swear our economy would rise. Too bad most of us are too lazy. We can't be independent individuals without complaining. We even choose to dress and look like everybody else. wtf.

Now that I've succeeded in changing the subject completely, lol, I might as well close.

Thanks for reading, and until next time honey.

Sasha Audrey.